Does this sound familiar ?!? Someone in your family asks you a question and before you even realize it, you answer in a very exasperated tone like ” omg are you kidding me, how don’t you know this Ughhhhhhhh “
A lot of times when clients come to me feeling stressed and anxious one of the unwanted side effects that come up, is having a short fuse with those they love or people they interact with in general.
First off we’ve ALL been there one time or another because we’re not robots and sometimes life get’s the best of us and bubbles out of our mouth before we even know it. In saying this, there is a VERY unhealthy cycle here at play if it’s happening frequently and it looks like this –> ANXIETY / STRESS LEVEL HIGH —-> SHORT FUSE WITH OTHERS — > FEELING GUILTY FOR SHORT FUSE until it happens all over again, not to mention how the recipients feel. So I’ve painted the picture of the problem and you’ve raised your hand and said ” ME, I SO GET THIS ” and now I bet you’re wondering, how do stop the cycle ??
What I can tell you with absolute certainty from my own life journey and from coaching tons of people, is that a mind at peace, isn’t so quick to snap !
First, you want to dig deep and address your stress and anxiety triggers. There could be a multitude of things at play here and helping people address the root cause, is one thing I do in my coaching. You may have goals that matter a great deal to you that you’ve been putting off, that consume your mind causing stress and anxiety. You may be surrounded by ” stuff ” in your house and the disorganization makes your entire world feel chaotic. Maybe outside the home or even inside, you feel like a walking door mat without a voice, perhaps it’s a combination of things resulting in low self love, respect and belief. Whatever it is, causing stress and anxiety, you want to pin point it and work on a solution. Notice I didn’t say the ” fix ” was to stop being snappy. Again, a short fuse can be a symptom of deeper issues so we want to tackle the root cause and come up with an action plan to actually make you feel better inside, in doing so, you’ll bring down the stress and anxiety levels and a natural result of being more at peace on the inside, is having more patience with those around us on the outside.
Along with the inner work, it’s also important to make a point to be aware of your actions. So let’s say you start to snap, you catch yourself and instead of going off and feeling bad about it the entire evening which solves nothing and only causes extra grief, you apologize in the moment. You may want to say something like ” Sorry I snapped, I’m having a hard day, it’s not about you ” people don’t know it’s not about them if we don’t tell them. All you can do from here is work to do better next time, it’s a process and takes commitment.
One thing I LOVE about such life issues is that there are ALWAYS solutions and negative cycles CAN be broken with patience, dedication and determination.